(Roughly) Daily

From the good folks at Blogadilla (“the Tijuana of the Internet”), a list a handy phrases to interject just as a new member is joining a conversation:

Best ‘Out of Context’ phrases to disturb people who have just joined the conversation:

• And that’s why you should never eat movie theater hot dogs.
• Because it was technically “art,” they had to drop the charges.
• So they named the medical condition after me.
• And that’s why I am no longer welcome in Turkey.
• So I’ve been out of prison for 2 years and I still like to do it.
• And so my childhood best friend will soon be my step-son.
• Because I didn’t know that the restraining order applied to the entire cemetery.
• So we were disqualified from the Iditarod because they weren’t technically dogs.
• And I still have it in a jar of formaldehyde in my closet.
• And the residents of Nukumanu Island still regard me as a god.
• Because she was my second cousin, the State of Arkansas had no case against us.
• Because ‘Baby Fighting’ is technically legal in Guatemala.
• And now the security at Disneyland has the right to shoot me on sight.
• Because we thought ‘Nursing School’ meant something totally different.

As we choose our words and wait for our openings, we might recall that it was on this date in 1500 that Christopher Columbus was arrested (by the co-Governor recently arrived from Spain) for crimes against the people of Haiti; Columbus and his two brothers were returned to Spain in chains on October 1 of that same year.

Christopher Columbus