At last: Brogurt…
Last week on Wait, Wait… Don’t Tell Me, panelists discussed a new yogurt for men, a brogurt, from Powerful Yogurt. As comedian Jessi Klein observed:
“If male yogurt marketing is anywhere near as annoying as female yogurt marketing, you are in for a treat. Every female yogurt commercial is basically like women in a wedding dress just petting a kitten and eating yogurt.”
The show’s intrepid staff investigated further…
The first thing you notice about the Powerful Yogurt container is that it has a six pack. Later editions will come with a beer gut and will never take their shirt off at the beach, insisting it’s just because they “burn easily.”
Peter: I liked the fact there was no lid. You had to smash it on your forehead to get to it.
Ian: I guess this is pretty manly, but not as manly as that Dannon flavor you have to hunt and kill with your bare hands.
Mike: This is good. Like, this is “morning after a night in a Tijuana brothel and I still have both my kidneys” good.
“I haven’t been this intimidated by a yogurt since that cup of Activia was valedictorian of my high school.”
Read the full review at The Salt…
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As we reach for our Swiss Army sporks, we might spare a thought for Ilya Ivanov; he died on this date in 1932. A biologist intrigued by reproduction, Ivanov pioneered artificial insemination techniques, opening (in 1901) the first successful facility for “assisted” horse breeding, and developing the techniques that would later be widely-adopted for use with farm animals of all species.
But Ivanov’s ambitions were broader still: he reckoned that he could use artificial insemination to achieve interspecific hybridization. As early as 1910, he had given a presentation to the World Congress of Zoologists in which he described the possibility of obtaining a human-ape hybrid… a prospect that intrigued Josef Stalin, who assigned Ivanov the task of developing a race of super-warriors, “invincible human beings, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat.” After years of expensive failures, Stalin tired of the quest, and exiled Ivanov to Kazakhstan, where he died just over a year later. Perhaps fittingly, Ivan “Conditioned Reflex” Pavlov wrote Ivanov’s obituary.
Ilya Ivanov