(Roughly) Daily

When life– or the S.F. City Attorney– hands you lemons…

SFoodie is among the throng regretting SF City Attorney Dennis Herrera’s successful effort to pressure Coors into removing essentially all of the active ingredients (caffeine, taurine, guarana, and ginseng) from their energy drink Sparks.

When Herrera, an attorney emboldened by success, enlisted other government lawyers to pursue purveyors of energy drinks both with and without alcohol, SFoodie responded as Americans traditionally have to Prohibitions past– he retreated to his bath-tub, and brewed up a batch of home-made Sparks:

The [resulting] drink was reverse-engineered from a vintage can of caffeinated Sparks and rigorously tested via blind taste-test by SFoodie and four people who agreed to come over to the author’s house and drink this stuff, plus two random guys on the street who should be applauded for their daring and general zest for life.

The results? It’s virtually impossible to tell the difference between Bathtub Sparks (or Not Sparks, or Moonshine Sparks) and real Sparks. Between tastings, palates were cleansed with beer.

A side-by-side comparison. The one that looks more like urine is the actual Sparks.

Actual testimony:

“God, that’s so f**king gross.”

“This is actually hurting my stomach.”

“I’m buzzed, I’ve got so much caffeine in my body.”

“This is the best day of my life.”

In other words, it tasted just like Sparks.

Bathtub Sparks

2 pieces Pez candy, one yellow, one pink
1 can King Cobra
1 can Red Bull

Crush the Pez until reduced to a fine powder. Transfer the powder to the bottom of an empty glass. Pour in equal parts King Cobra and Red Bull. Don’t be alarmed when the foaming begins; it will subside. Adjust for flavor.

More at SFoodie.

As we reach for the rush, we might raise it in a toast, as it was on this date in 1582 that the Pantheonic William Shakespeare, then 18, posted a £40 bond in Stratford-Upon-Avon for his license to marry Anne Hathaway (then 26)… Their first chid, Susanna, came quickly (six months later:  What, Egg!  Young fry of treachery! :-), followed in two years by twins.

Mrs. Shakespeare

 

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