(Roughly) Daily

From the ever-inventive folks at Think Geek:

Pâté is passé. Unicorn – the new white meat.

Excellent source of sparkles!

Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don’t know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn’s coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn.

As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn’s outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat.

Product information, recipes, and ordering instructions here.

As we rethink our panini preferences, we might recall that it was on this date in 1808 that John Jacob Astor incorporated The American Fur Company. One of the first great trusts in the U.S., American Fur had come to dominate the fur trade in North America, and had become one of the largest businesses in the country by 1830.  Astor, who traded in real estate and opium as well as furs, became America’s first multi-millionaire.

Photogravure from oil portrait by Gilbert Stuart