(Roughly) Daily

WHOS READY 4 SRVICE ???!!! BOOM WE’VE GOT THE BLINK 182 BLASTING AND ARE READY TO GRILL IT AND THRILL IT 2NITE !!! READY 2 EAT JIMMY DEAN SAUSAGE W/ CANNED SPRING VEG, FRENCH’S, FRITOS HOOPS + PISTACHIO SOIL. PALATE CLEANSING SHOT OF FERMENTED LAKE MICHIGAN WATER W/ NUTISIONAL YEAST RIM !!!!

Say it aloud: Chef Jacques La Merde

What do you get when you cross fast food with fine dining? A brilliant new Instagram account that marries tongue-in-cheek humor with kitchen slang. Chef Jacques Lamerde— a pseudonym for a chef familiar with New Nordic plating techniques — has a penchant for fast junk food and crazy-cool flavor combinations. The chef’s tagline is “small portions | tweezered everything,” but it’s the image descriptions that have us laughing out loud. “Hay-baked Hot Pockets with Hidden Valley Bacon Ranch spheres and a puree of Zoodles” anyone? What would René Redzepi [the king of Nordic cuisine] say?…

More at Eater, and of course, on Instagram.

* Jean François Lyotard

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As we tuck in our napkins, we might recall that it was on this date in 1531 that Richard Roose (or Rouse), the cook in the household of John Fisher, Bishop of Rochester, was boiled to death after being convicted of high treason.  It was claimed that Roose had poisoned a porridge (or pottage) served to Fisher and his guests on 18th February 1531.  All who ate it became ill, and two people died.  King Henry VIII enacted a special law decreeing Roose– who argued that he’d added a purgative to the dish “as a jest”– be boiled alive for the offense.  Henry’s decree, with death by boiling as punishment for poisoning, remained on the law books in England until 1863; at least one other person was stewed under its provisions.

Roose being boiled, in a scene from The Tudors

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