(Roughly) Daily

The Highest Honor…

Who among us has not dreamt of achieving that apex of achievement, having a sandwich named for us.

John Peck has imagined the menu in the ultimate rock and roll cafe, where one can select among such sandwiches as…

ABBA: Reindeer paté, candied rose petals, white bread.

Sex Pistols: Deep-fried Frank Sinatra LP, Russian mustard, spackle, tacks, stale rye bread.

Guns ’n Roses: Bacon-double cheeseburger, bittermelon jelly, Rogain aioli, sliced glazed donut.

Neil Young: Cubed ham, Kraft macaroni and cheese, blackened Anaheim peppers, 18-grain Anasazi bread.

Rolling Stones: Beef tongue, caviar, platinum-coated fried onions, ketchup, white bread.

Beach Boys: Grilled chicken breast, mustard, lettuce, SPF-50 sunscreen aioli, crispy fried peyote bits, white bread.

The Doors: Beer-battered fried chicken, mescaline ketchup, Navajo fry bread.

Huey Lewis and the News: Butterflied hot dog, pizza sauce, Cheez-Whiz, Dutch crunch.

Hall and Oates:Tuna salad, diet coleslaw, pomade, hamburger bun.

Prince: Braised peacock cheeks, lavender spread, mustard, mayo, baguette.

Grateful Dead: Lemon verbena sorbet, peanut butter, clarified hemp butter, deep-fried brownie bites, M&Ms, stale focaccia.

David Bowie: Curried snow leopard, mayo, garlic naan.

The Kinks: Roast beef, balsamic cigarette-butt reduction, dark rye.

John Cage: Silence, warmth, indirect sunlight, the memory of lettuce, the idea of bread.

Velvet Underground: Salami, cheddar, shredded pre-war 1000-Deutschmark bills, oil paint, heroin gravy, French roll.

Depeche Mode: Chicken breast, Swiss cheese, grilled suede, fried onions, mascara aioli, seeded baguette.

Ramones: Sliced hot dog, amphetamine ketchup, mustard, relish, white bread.

Many more delights at “Bandwiches,” In McSweeney’s.


As we ask for extra mayo, we might recall that it was on this date in 1989 when Rod Stewart (pulled-pork, shredded cabbage, Newcastle Brown Ale- Vaseline barbeque sauce, white bread) hit his head while on stage and knocked himself out in the middle of a performance.

Stewart in 1989, upright


Written by LW

July 5, 2012 at 1:01 am


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